A fascinating story...

Happy Sunday! I hope the attached article fascinates you.
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Disneyland with a Sensory Kid

In late April, Mike and I spent a week in Disneyland with the two girls.  Spring Break for our school district is the very last week of April, so its the perfect time to go.  The weather there is warm, but not too hot, and the vast majority of schools have already completed their spring vacations, so the place is relatively empty.


In retrospect, I will admit that I didn't expect our vacation to be particularly successful from a parent standpoint.  I knew that Tiersten would be over-the-moon all day every day, but Jennica?  I was worried about a whole host of things.  How do you feed a gluten-free/dairy-free/egg-free child in Disneyland?  How do you keep her from getting overwhelmed to the point of panic in pretty much the most sensory stimulating place on Earth?  I had visions of her ricocheting through the park like a ping-pong ball, seeking some sense of order in the chaos.  I also expected to return to the hotel each afternoon for long naps, thinking that she would need the "down time" in quiet place to re-organize herself.


I honestly planned to be VERY very organized, which helps her to feel organized.  With Grant's jaw surgery the week before we left and spending three days with him in Seattle, plus the first few days of recovery when we got home, I foolishly thought that I would have time to put together some picture schedules and other helpful stuff between running errands for Grant on the couch.  It didn't work out that way!  I was far busier than I expected taking care of Grant!  (Whaddayaknow......getting painkillers, more ice, and food for a 14-year-old boy on demand was work!)

So....on Saturday, we hugged our teenagers farewell and headed to Seattle with the girls.  (The boys went to Disneyland a few years ago and honestly had no desire to return this soon.  Go figure!)  Of course, as I had expected, Jennica was wound higher than a kite.  But she was in control!  This was only the first of many surprises to come.

I'm not going to bore you all with a blow-by-blow account of our six days in Disneyland.  I'll just suffice it to say that Jennica did fantastic!  She ate incredibly well, and we were able to keep her full of fresh fruits and vegetables, and other "standards" of her usual diet.  She hopped out of bed each morning ready to roll, and we stayed in the park every day ALL DAY!  She rode rides that I never thought she would be willing to attempt, and she came off of them smiling!  ???!!!???  Mike and I conferred several times each day, exchanged thousands of shocked looks over the top of her head, and WE HAD FUN!  (For parents of SPD children, you know how precious those words are....WE HAD FUN!  On a vacation.  For more than 10 minutes between tantrums.  WOW!)

I will admit that Jennica crashed for about 5 days after we returned home.  She slept.  And she slept.  And she slept some more.  Her teachers at school reported borderline behaviors that they hadn't seen in months.  We were briefly worried that Splash Mountain might have jarred her wiring loose or something, and we might have lost some of the progress that she's worked so hard to gain.  But she finally got rested up and the SPD has again receded to controllable levels.  Wahoo!

Eighteen months ago, I would never have attempted a trip to Disneyland with this child.  I would have rather had pulled my toenails off with pliars than to go through the effort, moment-by-moment, of dealing with my daughter in that environment.  (Heaven only knows.....we could barely survive 20 minutes in a grocery store without a tantrum.)  

How far we've come!!! 

Silly boy!

Dane has grown up a lot this past year--both physically and otherwise.  The driver's license and his Explorer have given him increased freedom and responsibility.  His heavy schedule requires that he stay organized with schoolwork and other commitments.  And he's gained 30 pounds of muscle by daily weightlifting (yes....3-0) since the end of wrestling season in late February.  He should be....er......formidable in a helmet and shoulder pads this September (which is the whole point).  Five-foot-10-inches and 190 pounds of high school junior running at me would be enough to send me scrambling in the other direction!

But.....even with all this newfound maturity....he's still prone to doing "silly things."  He's run out of gas.  He's locked his keys in his car (twice).  He plays stupid games and does strange things to any digital photo he can manipulate.  (You should see the one of his face morphed onto Jabba the Hut's body.  Priceless!)

The photo here is another one of his silly stunts, and this one I happened to catch on camera.  On Sunday evening, he and Grant were zipping out the door headed to somewhere.   Grant came back into the house and resumed his seat without a word.  ???  Dane came zipping around the house carrying the ladder to retrieve his keys out of the gutter.  He had been tossing them up in the air as he was jumping down the porch steps and managed to throw them straight into the gutter.  Harmless.....but funny! 

We enjoy laughing with you, Dane!  I'm so glad that you always manage to find the lighter side of life!  :)

Forgot to mention....

With that last post about Grant, you would have thought that I would have remembered to mention that he had a great week of recognition! 

This past Tuesday night was Raymond School District's  "Night of the Arts", at which the bands, choir, art classes, jewelry-making class, drama, and dance classes all exhibit and perform.  Grant was awarded with the "Junior High Band Member of the Year" award.  Wahoo!  He's turned into quite a trumpet player!

And then, on Wednesday night at the Spring Sports Banquet, he was awarded with the "Most Inspirational Award" for the track team.

Way to go, Grant!  We're very proud of you!

Grant's jaw surgery

This is more catching up!  Most of you reading this already know that Grant had major jaw surgery on April 19th at Swedish Hospital in Seattle. 

The following photos are a brief record of the process.  I still don't have a good current photo of him with his "new face," but that will follow shortly. 

1) Relaxing at 5:30 am in his very attractive hospital jammies.  He made friends with his anesthesiologist shortly after this, and got a sincere offer to spend a little time there if he's interested in the medical field in a few years.  Kind of a "job shadow" sort of thing.  I hope Grant takes him up on it!  And by the way, this hospital comes to life REALLY early in the morning.  There were a lot of people around for 5:30 am!!! 

2) This photo was also taken right before surgery.  The profile shot shows the medical necessity of the extension of his lower jaw.  His lower jaw was just flat-out smaller than the upper.  Without surgery, his bottom front teeth would have eventually destroyed the soft tissue on the palate, and stressed the jaw joint itself to the point of erosion.  And yes.....headgear usually stops the growth of the upper jaw to allow the lower jaw to "catch up".  In Grant's case, the headgear just didn't do the job.

3) Fresh out of surgery at 10:00 am, and having a great time  wishing he could die.  They gave him more meds to stop the vomiting, which knocked him out cold for a few more hours.  (Nice to know that my son inherited my vomiting reaction to narcotics.) 

The nurses kept talking about his red hair and cut the doses of all meds due to his hair color.  When asked, they informed me that red-heads are often far more sensitive to meds.  Its a genetic thing!  And fascinating!  He was "banded" shut at this point, and not in the mood to chat anyway.  He finally wrote "Leave Me Alone!" on a white board that afternoon and kept pointing to it whenever we asked him anything. 

4) This photo was taken 48 hours after surgery.  Swelling was at its worst.  His face had been packed in ice for 2 days at this point, and he was taking some nasty pain pills every 4 hours. 

At this point, Grant has one more appointment left with his surgeon and then he is fancy-free.  He thought that all his stitches had dissolved, and then spit out another handful of them just this week.  The swelling is all gone, and he hasn't taken pain pills in weeks.  He has two tiny "x"-scars on his cheeks, where the rear pins were inserted in each side.  The front pins are just below his bottom front teeth and were inserted internally.  He DOES look different, but if it saves him pain and problems in the future, it will be worth it all!!!

My changing role

In the past 24 months, I have gone from the parent of a newly-diagnosed child with SPD, dealt with the grief that accompanies diagnosis, fought for a view of my child's future that wasn't overwhelmingly marked with her "disability", yanked myself kicking and screaming into a very restrictive diet for her, learned everything I could learn about her issues, questioned myself, questioned everything I knew about parenthood, and questioned some more. I have stood tall while people around me judged my child for her behaviors. I have silently screamed at the grocery store while my child bounced around the store like a ping-pong ball--wildly raging out of control. And I have experienced FAPE, IEPs, and a million other acronym-laden experiences firsthand. I have even glared down a lofty doctor (or two...or three) that deemed themselves "superior" in children and how they behave and why. I have smiled patiently without "losing it" at a few school employees and/or family and friends that were skeptical early on in our journey. I have studied for hours about vitamin and mineral supplements, and their effects on the body.  I've even paid for naturopathic treatments that almost made voodoo sound logical. I now understand the full effects of "malabsorption" and not only on the body, but on the developing brain and how SPD can be the result or the side effect. I have banged my head against the wall, cried, vented, and been tested beyond what I honestly knew I could withstand. And during the entire 24 months, I was still a mother to three other children, and wife, and owner/operator of a very demanding financially-based business in the middle of a recession for which, simply put, my profession was, partially blamed for causing.

So....Gosh Darn It.......if there is anyone out there that wonders why my landscaping looks crappy in front of my house or has any other comments about my short-comings......I've been just a tad BUSY! (Great big "raspberry" straight at ya!!!)

With that off my chest, I can't help feeling like my role is changing. Jennica has gained an amazing amount of ground. Does she still have sensory issues? Absolutely! But she is learning to manage her response to overwhelming sensory input! Two years ago, she could barely handle something so relatively mundane as the sensory input of walking down the school hallway with a class of children. She's still on her restrictive diet. But we recently ran out of pro-biotics and found out that they truly are important when she complained of stomach aches. We started them back up and after about four days, she's fine!!!  If she has to be on pro-biotics for healthy digestion the rest of her life??? No big deal! She still has "issues" with crowded gymnasiums, but its improving and she lets us know, in acceptable ways, when she needs to leave. She still has "issues" with correctly identifying body clues such as cold, hot, hunger, thirst. But that is also improving. She no longer just lies on the ground and screams in frustration, unable to "organize" her brain into formulating the cause and solution to her problem. She usually tells us first!!! And we have time to help her locate the source of the discomfort and correct it before it is unmanageable. She has friends! She is academically "typical". Her language, fine and gross motor skills, etc. are all "typical".

So.....my role is changing. I'm beginning to speak about SPD from "the other side." There are so many parents and children either entering the trenches, or stuck in the trenches (for years) without a clear path on how to get out. Or stuck on a clear path that just isn't working, but with no resources to find a different approach. There are so many theories, and every day they change. Do you listen to the anti-vaccine paths? Do you try to naturopathic methods? Do you identify yourselves with the autism community? Do you try OT or Dr. Greenspan's methods (floor-time)? What about traditional medicine? Do you fight with your school? When do you "go with your gut" and when do you try something that feels wrong because you have nothing left to lose?

I'm finding that I want to be the face of hope to all the people who are still fighting at the height of their battle!!! I want to give the encouragement to keep fighting! Don't give up! Your journey will not mirror mine! I can tell you what has worked and is working for us, but that is no guarantee that it will work for you or your child. The important part is to keep going!

For now....Let the photo of Jennica be the face of hope for SPD! Keep her smiling face in your mind and have faith that you can help your child reach the same point in their climb. She's beginning to take so much joy from the simple things in life. Finally! And the parents that are living this battle know what I'm talking about when I say......it brings tears to my eyes to watch her laugh in the hallways with her friends while the noise and chaos surrounds her at the end of recess. The simplicity of a normal child at play. Don't let SPD take it away! Keep fighting!!!

Drop me an email. I'd love to share your journey!

The difference a great school makes....

This is a little bit tardy for posting.....but I'm catching up, remember? So read on.

In March, the Missoula Children's Theater came to Raymond School District. (I LOVE them, by the way! It is the perfect answer to drama for small schools. If you aren't familiar with MCT, google them!) Jen came home all week before play try-outs absolutely begging to try out. I smiled pleasantly at her, and silently threatened to hang the person that was making it all sound so wonderful. As a kindergartener, Jen's experience with MCT was only through Tiersten last year. So......??? Where was she getting the idea that this was "so much fun". It's WORK! Albeit, only for a week. But WORK. And the sensory-parent in me was anticipating the horrors of the costume and make-up, the visual impact of hundreds of pairs of eyes peering at her on stage, the auditory impact of music and singing. Remember.....she coudn't "do" the Christmas Program. So why did she think play try-outs sounded so fantastic???

Lo and behold, Monday came. And I found out that it was our very own principal (who happens to have a special relationship with Jen) that was talking up the play. I arrived in the school, and she immediately spotted me and asked, "Jen's trying out after school today, right?" My eyes narrowed. After a few direct questions, I indeed had the person-needing-throttling. We proceeded to have a quick banter regarding the sensory demands of the play, ya da ya da ya da.

And then all the sudden, our principal said something astounding to me. "You know, Mom......she has the right to a free appropriate public education." And then she told me that, if necessary, Jennica's para-educator would be paid to work into the evenings all week, so that Jen could have her "helper" there to assist her with the sensory needs.

Huh? The principal was telling ME, the PARENT.....my child's rights? This conversation almost ALWAYS works in reverse. I was blown away and I backed down immediately. If my school district is THAT committed to helping my child be successful at something she wants to attempt, why would I say, "No."??

As it turned out, Jen crashed and burned at try-outs. I was right. Halfway through try-outs she started twisting her hair and chewing on her shirt. And then she turned to her teacher and asked that her Mom be called so she could go home. The sensory input was too much and she needed out of there.

But it doesn't really matter. What matters is that my daughter had a chance to participate at the same level as all the other boys and girls. And that my school district was willing to make sure that she could be successful, even if that meant paying an employee! WOW!!! For parents of children with disabilities, this is HUGE!

And for Jen.......she got to try out and she was happy with that. The decision was HERS not to continue. Mom didn't have to tell her she couldn't try out. And the school district didn't say she couldn't try out. She left while the experience was still positive, and she's already talking about trying out again next year. :)

The winds of change

Ten weeks without a blog update, huh? I think thats a first for me since creating this blog. But its been a busy 10 weeks. Let me explain.

First, my business exploded in March. It needed to happen and I came out of it inspired to appraise again. It was nice to be able to focus on my career for a month--even if it was relatively short-lived because.....

.....In April, Grant had jaw surgery. Eighteen months of preparation finally culminated into 36 hours in Swedish Hospital and a full three days in Seattle. I'm happy to report that it went well. Remarkably well, actually. Once he was past the vomiting blood with his jaw banded shut coming out of surgery. That part wasn't so pleasant. (He was heavily drugged at that point so he doesn't remember it clearly. I'm not so fortunate.) They cut his lower jaw bone lengthwise in three places with a reciprocating bone saw (oooohhhh.....say those last three words again. Sounds great, doesn't it?), slid the pieces around, and pinned them with titanium pins. With a mouth full of stitches, little stitches on his cheeks, and a head packed in ice, they sent him home. He swelled up, which is to be expected. And although he wasn't wired or banded shut after the 24 hour mark, the swelling made eating pretty difficult for about 10 days. But he's now 3 1/2 weeks post-surgery and doing very well. He will compete tomorrow at the Track and Field League Championships in 3 events, after qualifying this past Monday. (Yes....he went back to track already. And yes....I think he's insane.) His diet is still limited to nothing that requires intense pressure or pulling. In other words, no licorice, taffy, raw carrots.....you get the idea. Otherwise, he's footloose and fancy-free. Oh......but no pole-vaulting or contact sports until the end of June. On a final "Mom note"........yes, he looks different. Its still disturbing to me how much his facial shape changed with the surgery, but this was medically necessary and Mom will just have to adjust to his new face. :(

The end of April, Mike and I and the girls went to Disneyland for 6 days. Mike was the only one with previous Disney experience, so I wasn't totally sure what to expect. It was a pretty awesome vacation!!! The girls were wonderful, and we learned that Tiersten is a daredevil beyond our wildest expectations. No ride was too hairy and there was only one that she was too short to ride. Darn......I was disappointed not to get to experience the Mali-Boomer (Yeah...sure!), but she and I did California Screamin' and the Tower of Terror together. Mike doesn't "do" big rides, and so he happily stayed with Jen. From all descriptions from Disney addicts, we were there at the perfect time. The weather was in the 60s and 70s each day, and the longest we waited in line ANYWHERE was 45 minutes to meet Tinkerbell. (Personally, I could have skipped that one, but hey.....it was important to the girls.) We consistently walked on to even the headliner rides with less than 10 minutes of a wait. This allowed us a LOT of time to ride again and again, which we did on several. With Jen's SPD, we totally expected her to melt each day in over-stimulation. Much to our amazement, she was phenomenally in charge of her senses. As long as she was well-fed, she was a complete trooper! She very quickly showed us that she was quick to cover her eyes, or limit sensory input in some other way on some of the rides to make it tolerable. Impressive! Truly. Considering that this is a child that wouldn't even attempt to ride a bike 18 months ago due to the overwhelming sensory forces involved.

Which brings me back to the title of this blog post. The winds of change are blowing around here! After 18 months of preparation for this major jaw surgery for Grant, it is finally behind us. Dane is nearing the end of his sophomore year of high school and I totally realized at his self-led conference at the school today, that he is TWO YEARS from graduation! He's stepping up to meet the challenge, and his Junior Class Schedule that he presented today is.....challenging. To say the least, I'm proud of him! Tiersten is also maturing and becoming more independent. Her no-fear approach at Disneyland is definitely carrying over to her horsemanship, and she's demanding a higher level of instruction. As always, I'm eternally grateful that we're with a trainer that understands my priorities for safety at Tiersten's age. (Good grief...I sound like MY mother........it has finally happened.)

And, as any family with a special needs child knows, the life and behavior of the special needs child often rules the roost. Regardless of how hard you might try not to let it, accomodations for that child are a necessity, and so it goes. But since Christmas, Jen has matured immensely. She is still gluten-free, casein-free, and all that other jazz. She still has SPD. But she is regulating HERSELF much more. She now recognizes the signs of sensory overload, and is making good choices and asking for intervention as needed to help her regain control BEFORE she is melted into a screaming puddle on the floor. She has lots of friends and is accepted by her peers, which means she is interacting with them in age-appropriate ways. She is academically in the middle of her class, which means that she is controlling her sensory environment and getting the content out of what is being taught. She is able to accept last-minute changes in life, and is able to deal appropriately when unexpected things arise. We are SO SO SO grateful for our miraculous school district, which has helped all of this happen. While we certainly do our part here at home, we always knew that it was really the intense sensory environment of a lively elementary school that could make or break our journey. So many parents of SPD children give up and home school, in order to keep the sensory input at a level that the child can handle. I would never never never assume that all SPD kids need to remain in public school, as our situation with a 1:1 paraeducator that has learned to balance the right amount of help while encouraging independence is rare and ever-so-perfect. For our daughter.......PUBLIC SCHOOL IS THE RIGHT CHOICE!!! It is SO great to see her beginning to be successful!!! And not just successful at an individual level, but successful at an age-appropriate, typically-developing level. Wahoo! There is hope!!!

And so it goes. Spring feels good. I'm back and will blog again soon! :)

I'm truly speechless.....

http://www.chicksaddlery.com/page/CDS/PROD/0003/PP1010

Yes......I was a horse-loving child that "rode" anything that could even remotely resemble a horse. Trees.......my Dad's sawhorses......the list goes on and on and on. But when I spotted this in a catalog......WOW! I'm just speechless. LMAO!!! Click on the lick above and enjoy! On a positive note.....I guess it doesn't eat or poop???

An unexpected twist....

Those of us that "do" horses accept that each time we get on, we may get off sooner than we plan. Whether by centrifugal force directed by the horse......whether we fall off on our own.....or by some other happening...falls happen. If you can't deal with it, don't get on in the first place. I have gone off twice in the last 9 months. Once by my own sheer stupidity. And once because my horse decided he wanted me off. I bounced. I bruised. I brushed myself off and gathered whatever was left of my dignity and got back on. End of story.

Well......neither of my daughters have gone off. Yet. That day will come. Later rather than sooner, I hope. But guaranteed.......it WILL come.

But yesterday, a fellow riding mate of Tiersten's went off while we were at the barn. I heard it happening......looked up in time to see the crash.......heard the crying and saw her running to Cassie.......and went back to what I was doing. In my mind, if she's crying and running, she's okay and doesn't need the humiliation of more witnesses. I could dial 9-1-1 if necessary, but there were no bodily injuries here.

Jennica was sort of non-impacted by the whole event. In her own little SPD way, she didn't seem to grasp that Kailee hadn't meant to dismount at that exact moment. Okay......whatever.

But Tiersten. Tiersten surprised me. She was interested. How did it happen? What did Sunny (the horse) do to make Kailee fall off? And then........a whole host of excuses for Sunny!!!

I was instantly transported back to a moment about 15 years ago when I sat in an arena and held the head of an injured student and friend's daughter in my lap. She had been bucked off her horse and was injured seriously enough that we called an ambulance. While waiting for the ambulance to arrive, she made me promise over and over and over that I would NOT let her Dad kill her horse. She kept telling me that it was not the horse's fault that she had gone off and please please please don't let her Dad kill her horse. All while still lying in the dirt, helmet still on, and waiting for an ambulance to arrive. (Lisa ended up with a bone chip on her pelvis from that ride. She was back on the horse within two weeks. I still see her often, and she is now married, an RN, and has a newborn little boy.)

All the sudden, it is my daughter with the insatiable love for horses and making excuses so the horse is not blamed. The day will came when Tiersten is the one to hit the dirt. I'm already guessing that its never going to be the horse's fault in her eyes. Too funny!

What a month! And its only the 17th????

Unless I can salvage it in the second half, I think February of 2010 might just go down in history as one of my worst months ever. For so many reasons. I am unmotivated at this point in time. The usual things that drive me to excel have shifted. I just don't want to. Do. Anything. Except play. And enjoy life.

I've had a great time lately playing with the girls and Yodi. Tiersten is making the most of her weekly riding lessons and is excelling faster than she really should be. When she kept bugging Cassie, her instructor, about when she gets to start jumping, Cassie gave her a long list of things that she needed to accomplish before she would be ready to jump. I applauded Cassie for this, as I thought it would be a subtle way to prolong the jumping chatter for a solid 18 months (or longer) while she developed the skills, and gained the strength and size that she really needs to be jumping safely. Well......Tiersten is slamming through the list items pretty darn quickly. Cassie and I have both already realized that we're just going to have to have a "sit down" and tell Tiersten that she is simply not strong enough yet to handle a 1,000-pound horse on a jumping course. Despite the fact that she can do all the things on "the list". Period. As for Jennica, the "no fear" issue definitely crosses over to horses. She rides strictly on a lunge line, with a sane adult firmly attached to the other end. Without it, she would be laughing like crazy and be trying to talk the horse into a full gallop in 10 seconds or less. SPD and personal safety awareness just don't go hand-in-hand. (Or......in the case of some kids with SPD, they are so afraid of everything that they never let go of the parents' hands. Jennica isn't that type......) Tiersten will probably do a little competing in Dressage this spring/summer with the US Pony Club. I still have mixed feelings about her competing so young, but in the end, she's very self-driven to excel. We're keeping a close eye on it and just seeing where it leads.

Grant wrapped up his basketball career last week and went out with a bang. He has already rather loudly announced that he will wrestle in high school, which means that he very likely may not play organized basketball again. Ever. His last game he ended up playing point guard from buzzer to buzzer. Some other boys on his team that usually play that position had managed to get in trouble and/or injured, so Grant was the last one that knew the position. Run Grant, Run! :) His team was undefeated for the last two years, so those that stick with basketball next year will probably be quickly humbled with the higher level of play in high school. I wish them the best.........and I'm really glad that Grant is going with wrestling.

Dane wrestled his way to Regionals, and lost only to highly-competitive seniors. I know he would like to be wrestling at State this weekend, but he did extremely well in a very difficult bracket. A large group of seniors in our region means that Dane will definitely step into the upper levels next year. Hope he's ready!

And as for Mike and I........we've both been knocked back a bit by Max's death. We are both turning off the computers earlier in the evening, and spending more time just "being" with the kids. I'm working less again, and justifying it to myself by saying that I need to be doing things for the family. I have been short-tempered with stressed-out lenders, and haven't been as gracious with their usual antics as I usually am. "This is my turn-time and fee. Take it or leave it!" If they choose to leave it, I've been thrilled as it gives me even more time to play with the kids. Thats okay for awhile.......but the warning whistles are ringing in my head that I can't keep this up forever. Whether I like it or not, customer service is a part of appraising.

And Mike and I have both spent money on the kids in the last few weeks that we wouldn't normally splurge on.......and are just enjoying that they are still here so that we can spend money on them. For example, Dane didn't get his usual Regionals Wrestling T-shirt. He got a very nice Regionals Sweatshirt instead. And, Tiersten got a nice pair of brand-name leather half-chaps for Valentines Day like the "big girls" wear at the barn. None of this will break our bank, but they aren't necessarily the type of expenditures that we usually make. Hmmmm...

And so.......life goes on. Its really no different. And yet, it has changed immensely. Priorities have shifted. New things have taken their place. And the beat goes on.

(By the way, I'm working on getting some new photos of the girls with the horses. However, its extremely difficult to get kids and horses clean at the same time. Hopefully, our current sunshine is going to hold and dry up some of the mud!)

A favorite photo...

This picture is one of my all-time favorites of Jennica. It was taken at the Day Care last summer, and I finally talked them out of it. Enjoy! :)

Okay.......Where'd the video go?

The video that was supposed to be attached to the previous post has vanished. **POOF**

So......I'm going to have to stick to photos for now. Hmmmm......

In any case, Dane tied for 6th in a 16-man bracket for his weight class this last weekend. Sub-regionals are this coming Saturday, so keep your fingers crossed. He SHOULD move easily on to Regionals, but I know he'll feel better once its over. He knows that he would have to wrestle exceptionally well to make it to State, so for now, he's just taking it one weekend at a time.

We didn't get to attend Dane's wrestling meet this weekend, as we actually spent two days on the road with Grant at a basketball tournament. This was a non-school-associated tourney, so we were short part of his normal 8th grade team but, for the most part, these were the same kids. They played marginally well on Saturday.......and HORRID on Sunday. Not sure what happened between Saturday and Sunday......but oh well. Tonight we play Willapa Valley at home (school-sanctioned) and the boys take great delight in decimating them, so they will be "up" for a victory tonight. This will also be the first event in our home gym since our tragedy last week, so I hope the kids are able to focus on the game and try to let go of their grief for awhile.

Max's Celebration of Life service is scheduled for February 7th. It will be another long week for these kids, as they come to terms with their loss and struggle with the reasons behind his actions. All of us in the community are just holding our children close and telling them how much they are loved. This was a startling and shocking reminder as to how unpredictable life can truly be.

Dane, The Mighty Wrestler

This weekend is Dane's last regular season wrestling meet before Sub-Regionals. Due to the loss of a schoolmate this week, which I posted previously, all the basketball teams have cancelled practice for the last three days and have cancelled their games through the end of this week. Unfortunately, the wrestlers have had to push through it as wrestling tournaments with multiple schools, particularly this late in the season, just can't be by-passed with Subs the following week. On the other hand, these student athletes are used to being very busy and I think there is comfort in following the "normal routine" to whatever extent is possible.

In any case, I'm posting a video of Dane from last week's meet. He medalled 4th, with all of the 1st-3rd place finishers being Seniors and qualifiers for last year's State Championship. The 1st place finisher was a teammate of Dane's, and the reigning State Champion. WAY TO GO, DANE!!!

I'm also going to post some photos in the next few days and, as you can see, Dane is tall and thin for his weight class. I always thought it was a myth that wrestlers were short and bulky. I was wrong--its true!! I ride Dane constantly about, rather than trying to wrestle "lean and mean", he would be better to bump up in to the 170-180 pound range and be "buff." So far......my strategy is falling on deaf ears. (What do Moms know anyway, right?) In any case, his bottom weight from calibration was set at 148 pounds, so he's as low as he can go now without having to worry that he'll be under his limit. To whomever the person(s) was/were that came up with the legislation to require calibration, weight-loss limits, and hydration requirements........Bless your heart(s)!!! My son would have been one of those that would have been 5 foot 9 inches and an emaciated 130 pounds. He's scrawny enough at 152! (I wish I had half his self-control regarding what goes in my mouth.) My next concern? That he and Grant will at some point have to wrestle each other in competition. Think the referees would humor a parent and declare a tie? UGH!

Enjoy the video! We're proud of you Dane!!!

Gone too soon!

Max lost his fight for life yesterday, and an entire community is grieving. Today, I found this photo of Dane blocking for Max in a Junior High football game two years ago.

Please take time today to tell your children that no problem is too big to work through. Not drugs.......not pregnancy.......not crime......nothing is worth this! We don't know what caused Max to make this horrible decision, but there is no one to blame but Max. It was a cruel decision he made that will torment his family forever.

Max......You were a good son, big brother, and friend. We will never forget you and your silly smile. I wish your family peace, and am angry that have caused so much hurt. You are so very loved.

Where everybody knows your name.....

There is nothing like a tragedy in a small town to bring a community to their knees. Last night, this small town indeed suffered a horrific tragedy that still has yet to have the final chapter written. A tremendous young man, full of promise and with a great future, suffered a gunshot wound to the head. With no speculation intended and prolific apologies if I'm wrong, it appears from all reports to have been self-inflicted. This young man is a freshman at RHS, "sandwiched" by my sophomore and 8th grader, and was coached by Mike in football this past fall. His Mom is a personal long-time friend of mine, and I have spent the last 12+ hours in disbelief. The entire town has been shaken to its core by this one. Max is currently at Harborview in Seattle, clinging to life, while his Dad hurries in from a fishing boat in the Bering Sea , and the rest of the family just sits and waits for the decisions to come. This family doesn't fit the profile that we've all come to expect with these situations. Four brash and energetic boys(Max is the oldest)......a stay-at-home Mom.......a successful Dad that works a large commercial fishing boat......a huge and beautiful home..........For pete's sake, they even took in an "extra" this past fall, no questions asked, when a local boy needed a safe and warm place to stay. Mom joked with me one day that she bought him a new package of underwear because his were coming through her dirty laundry in tatters, and that was the end of that--she now had FIVE boys.

With Jennica's VEEG at Mary Bridge, Dane's wrestling matches, Tiersten's new first grade teacher, Grant's basketball games, and work, I have spent the last three weeks running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Today, I am humbled beyond belief and reminded to SLOW DOWN. My priorities have been re-arranged in an instant and if someone doesn't like it, OH WELL!!!

To Jody, Tate, Elliott, Cooper, Carson....and Max.......we love you all! May peace be with you through the coming hours and days.

So much for my new career...

SHUCKS!!! Click on the link below:

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/80880152.html

Purple-icious!!!

Yes........my blog has turned purple. Today has been a very dreary January day in Western Washington. I stepped in dog poop at a house because there was nowhere to step in the yard that wasn't covered in dog poop. In the rain. And then I about blew off the deck of an ocean front house while trying to measure the exterior. It was just sort of a cruddy, dreary day.

Which made me long for Spring. So........I updated the blog to more spring-type colors. Love it or hate it? I haven't decided. But at least its brighter than dog poop. :)

So.......2010, huh?

Grant is watching TV across the room from where I'm typing this. Just as I was entering the title, the TV announcer said something along the lines of, ".....missed the grab there. I think that shows his lack of confidence......" WHAT THE HECK???!!!??? Of course, my "mom brain" immediately looked up over the top of the computer screen to see precisely WHAT Grant was watching on TV??!!?? Extreme skiing. Seriously.

I think that sums up my feeling of the last few weeks since I last blogged. Reacting. Behind the motion. Like most of you out there, the holidays were a whirlwind. But this year, they almost felt like they were over before they began. Tree goes in........tree goes out........ugh. I have my perpetual "to do" list still on my desk, and far too many of the items haven't changed in the last 60 days, which means they're not being accomplished. Hmph.

This year, with the start of the new year, the younger members of our family are going to experience some transition. Grant is moving from wrestling season to basketball. Tiersten will have a new first grade teacher, following the unexpected death of her teacher a few weeks before Christmas. And, at the recommendation of her occupational therapist, Jennica is going to take a 4-5 month "break" from her weekly private OT appointment. Grant will be fine.......but it means more evening commitments for us, as the basketball game schedule is heavier than the wrestling meet schedule. We have no word yet on who Tiersten's teacher will be, and I admit to being worried as to the possibilities. There aren't usually a lot of teachers looking for jobs in December, and the school is going to have a difficult set of shoes to fill. As for Jennica.....we've done a solid 13 months of OT, and Renae feels she is ready for a break. I was resistant to the whole idea in the beginning, but Renae gave us a few weeks to think it over, and I can see the validity of the points she made. So......we're not going to be making the weekly drive to Olympia for a little while. (Can't say I will miss that 3 hours on the road.) And, as Renae reminds us constantly, she is never more than a phone call or email away.

And then, in mid-January, Jen will be admitted to Mary Bridge Children's Hospital and "plugged in" for 48 hours straight for a high-intensity VEEG. Her previous sleep-deprivation EEG was normal, her sleep studies were just slightly outside the ranges of normal.......so her neurologist wants the longer EEG before he officially stamps her as "seizure-free." The seizure-free diagnosis would be great......and would be a further confirmation that her only diagnosis is Sensory Processing Disorder. Another part of me feels that, while very worth it, its a heckuva long road to a result of "normal" electrical brain activity. We'll see how I feel after the 2 days in purgatory. And then again, I feel like such a whiner when I think about people who spend months there with terminally-ill children. There is always always ALWAYS someone that has it so much worse than we do......I try to always remember that.

Dane left on a bus this morning at 6:00 a.m., bound for the never-ending Saturday wrestling meet. Today, he is 90 minutes to the north. He started the season in the 160-pound bracket......which is one of the toughest. Young men in the "little guy" brackets are......well.....little. Big men in the "big guy" brackets are sometimes chubby and unfit. But the middle brackets are always heavily stacked with athletic brutes that thrive on turning their opponents into human pretzels. So.......Dane has spent some more time than he would prefer as the pretzel. Dane occasionally threatens to drop a weight class in search of weaker opponents, but by state rules, each wrestler has a weigh-in/calibration at the beginning of the season with a specifically-qualified medical person, and Dane's bottom weight limit was set at 148 pounds (THANK HEAVENS!!!). He's not going to gain much by dropping just that far, so.....he's pretty much stuck where he is. We all have our opinions of what he should be doing to cross over to the "tougher" side, but he's ignoring us so far. So......again.......I remind myself with the lives of my children---"It is HIS journey." :)

Wishing you all the best in this new year of new opportunities!!!

9198 miles!!!

This past year, Mike and I have kept careful track of the miles we've driven for medical purposes. Our tax accountant had encouraged us this direction, and it has turned out to be a good decision for several reasons.

With one more trip still to endure to Mary Bridge Children's Hospital, our mileage total for medical only will be 9,198 miles for 2009! WOW! It's a little mind-boggling, to say the least.

Most of all, I feel humbled by that number. Jennica's SPD, while severe to us and her, is relatively minor compared to a terminal illness or so many other conditions. Our rural location makes it a necessity to travel a fair distance for Sensory-based OT, and virtually every other service, but that number could be SO much higher. And is much higher for so many families with children needing medical care.

Bottom line......Mike and I are not wealthy, but we can afford to make the needed travel to and from all these different places to ensure that our daughter is receiving the best medical care available. My self-employment allows me to schedule my work around her appointments. Is it still sometimes an inconvenience? Yes. Does it get tiresome having to constantly juggle this with that and be gone so much? Yes. Has my business profit level suffered this year because of it? Yes. But would I choose to do it any differently? Definitely not.

I guess that sometimes I feel like we need to do big things in order to help out a family during a medical crisis. This past year of the relatively minor experience of Jennica's medical needs have made me more sensitive to realizing that sometimes.......a gas card for a family might help more than we ever imagined.