What a month! And its only the 17th????

Unless I can salvage it in the second half, I think February of 2010 might just go down in history as one of my worst months ever. For so many reasons. I am unmotivated at this point in time. The usual things that drive me to excel have shifted. I just don't want to. Do. Anything. Except play. And enjoy life.

I've had a great time lately playing with the girls and Yodi. Tiersten is making the most of her weekly riding lessons and is excelling faster than she really should be. When she kept bugging Cassie, her instructor, about when she gets to start jumping, Cassie gave her a long list of things that she needed to accomplish before she would be ready to jump. I applauded Cassie for this, as I thought it would be a subtle way to prolong the jumping chatter for a solid 18 months (or longer) while she developed the skills, and gained the strength and size that she really needs to be jumping safely. Well......Tiersten is slamming through the list items pretty darn quickly. Cassie and I have both already realized that we're just going to have to have a "sit down" and tell Tiersten that she is simply not strong enough yet to handle a 1,000-pound horse on a jumping course. Despite the fact that she can do all the things on "the list". Period. As for Jennica, the "no fear" issue definitely crosses over to horses. She rides strictly on a lunge line, with a sane adult firmly attached to the other end. Without it, she would be laughing like crazy and be trying to talk the horse into a full gallop in 10 seconds or less. SPD and personal safety awareness just don't go hand-in-hand. (Or......in the case of some kids with SPD, they are so afraid of everything that they never let go of the parents' hands. Jennica isn't that type......) Tiersten will probably do a little competing in Dressage this spring/summer with the US Pony Club. I still have mixed feelings about her competing so young, but in the end, she's very self-driven to excel. We're keeping a close eye on it and just seeing where it leads.

Grant wrapped up his basketball career last week and went out with a bang. He has already rather loudly announced that he will wrestle in high school, which means that he very likely may not play organized basketball again. Ever. His last game he ended up playing point guard from buzzer to buzzer. Some other boys on his team that usually play that position had managed to get in trouble and/or injured, so Grant was the last one that knew the position. Run Grant, Run! :) His team was undefeated for the last two years, so those that stick with basketball next year will probably be quickly humbled with the higher level of play in high school. I wish them the best.........and I'm really glad that Grant is going with wrestling.

Dane wrestled his way to Regionals, and lost only to highly-competitive seniors. I know he would like to be wrestling at State this weekend, but he did extremely well in a very difficult bracket. A large group of seniors in our region means that Dane will definitely step into the upper levels next year. Hope he's ready!

And as for Mike and I........we've both been knocked back a bit by Max's death. We are both turning off the computers earlier in the evening, and spending more time just "being" with the kids. I'm working less again, and justifying it to myself by saying that I need to be doing things for the family. I have been short-tempered with stressed-out lenders, and haven't been as gracious with their usual antics as I usually am. "This is my turn-time and fee. Take it or leave it!" If they choose to leave it, I've been thrilled as it gives me even more time to play with the kids. Thats okay for awhile.......but the warning whistles are ringing in my head that I can't keep this up forever. Whether I like it or not, customer service is a part of appraising.

And Mike and I have both spent money on the kids in the last few weeks that we wouldn't normally splurge on.......and are just enjoying that they are still here so that we can spend money on them. For example, Dane didn't get his usual Regionals Wrestling T-shirt. He got a very nice Regionals Sweatshirt instead. And, Tiersten got a nice pair of brand-name leather half-chaps for Valentines Day like the "big girls" wear at the barn. None of this will break our bank, but they aren't necessarily the type of expenditures that we usually make. Hmmmm...

And so.......life goes on. Its really no different. And yet, it has changed immensely. Priorities have shifted. New things have taken their place. And the beat goes on.

(By the way, I'm working on getting some new photos of the girls with the horses. However, its extremely difficult to get kids and horses clean at the same time. Hopefully, our current sunshine is going to hold and dry up some of the mud!)