Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Allowing myself a "down" moment...

Late today, I went careening into what a friend not-so-affectionately calls, "the trough of despair". I had some bad news regarding an important option that we were working on for Jen, and I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach tonight, and am fighting the urge to crawl into bed and have a good cry.

Once again...........SPD kiddos are difficult. The disability is very real, but there are no obvious symptoms that pave the path for us to services. No feeding tubes.....not even facial features that convey their disability. SPD children look beautifully, wonderfully normal. Their disability is all on the inside of the brain.

So.......I'm going to have to take this setback in stride. Somehow. My plea will be re-written, in a more passionate format. More phone calls will be made. More resources will be tapped for advice. My daughter NEEDS the service we've requested.

But in the meantime, I'm going to have to swallow some pride and probably let go of some tightly-controlled frustration. I'm always afraid to let my emotions show, as I fear that once the floodgates open, I'm not sure I'll get them closed again. But this time........"no" just isn't an option. But sometimes being responsible for your daughter's future by how passionate you can plead her case is a heavy load to bear.

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