Saturday, October 31, 2009


I'm sure I've said this before on here, but Halloween has to be the WORST holiday for SPD children. No matter how hard we try to prepare them, make schedules, talk about the sights/sounds/feels so they know what to expect......again and again and again these children fall flat on their faces.

I ended up sewing Jennica a witch costume. I have to say that I rather out-did myself. It is soft, with no itchiness anywhere, and was so "cool" that she WANTED to wear it. She wore it all day at school yesterday with no problems. Heck.....that in itself speaks volumes. I took photos and will post them when my "real computer" is back working. Don't ask.......

But she had a field trip yesterday. Field trips are tough for sensory kids on a good day without the added Halloween chaos. And this time, some brilliant teacher came up with the idea that the kids should go to our local old-folks home and sing Halloween songs. For the typical kids......fine. For the SPD kiddo? Definitely not fine. Down deep, I knew what a disaster this was going to be. But with Jen's new 1:1, who is fantastic, I decided to butt out and let her do her job. Disaster. But Christine and Jen got through it. In the parking lot. Away from the nursing home smells, noises, reaching hands, etc. Sigh.......

And then tonight, Tiersten is out trick-or-treating with Mike, while Jen and I are home. Jennica is curled up in my bed, honestly not feeling well, but even without sickness......trick-or-treating was not going to go well. It never has.

So.....I've come to a conclusion. Why in the heck do we continue to put OUR expectations on this child for holidays? Culturally, we have such a strong sense of what we want our children to experience. Often it is based on what we, as children, experienced. But you know what? This is not OUR childhood. It is Jennica's childhood. It is HER journey. Before next Halloween, I intend to have a good chat with her about what SHE wants to experience as Halloween. And thats what she is going to experience. No more. No less. So anyone that wants to parade Jennica around next Halloween? It might happen. And it might not. Deal with it.

Thanksgiving isn't so bad. food. At home. She does that pretty well. Christmas isn't so bad, once school is out. Our family Christmas is do-able for her. Valentine's Day is the next "bad" holiday, I think. I will be talking to Jennica in January. What does Valentine's Day mean to HER!!!???!!! Its time to make some deeper changes in acceptance.

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